Labor is a terribly hard thing. It hurts a lot. It makes you crazy. It’s scary. Sometimes you think you just can’t do it, even though you know you will.
When I went into labor with Ivy, it started off with a bang. It freaked me out a little bit- all of a sudden it was happening. Or was it? Those contractions had me feeling stressed out and excited and worried and all kinds of things. I knew things were going to get a lot worse before they got better.
Labor is sort of a pain and nitrous oxide-induced blur to me.
One constant, one thing, that I can remember clearly from that very first contraction until that very first baby’s cry, is Neil. He was always there. Right there. Never more than a step away. I bossed him around, and held onto him, and maybe yelled at him, I don’t even know what I said to him. I don’t even think I said much. He didn’t say much either, but he didn’t have to. He was just there.
And even though I was in so much pain, and I was so scared, I can really remember thinking that I really love Neil. I love him so much.
I love him for making all these babies with me, and for being the most brilliant father to them. I love him for supporting me through four labors and four deliveries. I love his excitement at every birth, and his immediate love for each of our newborn babies. I love that I can see how much he loves me, and how proud he is of me.
Even through the craziness that is labor, I remember thinking all of those things.
Because they’re really so true.
I love you, Neil. So much.
p.s. Did I tell you we hired a photographer to document our labor and delivery? No, I didn’t, because I thought you would probably think I was weird. But now that you’ve seen that picture, I bet you don’t. We’ve only seen a few sneak peeks so far, and it’s enough for us to know it was some of the best money we ever spent.