Santa fail.

So today we went to see Santa. At noon. On a Saturday. What. Was. I. Thinking.

Okay so actually what I was thinking it’s already December 6th, we’re in the city already for Seth’s soccer game, and we’ll go to the small mall where we’ve never really had to wait before. And I needed to know what the kids were going to ask for so I, I mean Santa, could go shopping.

But apparently everyone else was thinking the same thing. The line up was long. I was ready to bail after 20 minutes when we weren’t even halfway through, but Neil said I was being dramatic, so we stayed. THEN when we were about 2/3’s of the way through the slowest line ever, I overheard the parents directly in front of us talking about how the assistant (elf?) had just told them Santa was leaving at 12:30 and wouldn’t be back till 1. It was now 12:16. Not gonna lie, I kind of wanted to kill myself at that moment. But I took a deep breathe, and crossed my fingers, said a prayer, and put on a brave face.

And we made it. JUST. The poor toddler behind us didn’t.
But I’m not sure if it was worth it. Santa was clearly needing his lunch break by this point. He didn’t smile and he sure didn’t give us a ho ho ho. When Ivy went up to tell Santa what she wanted, the assistant (elf?) immediately started feeding Ivy suggestions- “Do you want a Barbie? Or a baby doll? Do you want a My Little Pony?” LADY. She’s almost three. She’s known what she’s going to ask Santa for for weeks now. (A lion. A toy one. That growls and leaps around. It’s in my closet already. And she was m.a.d. When she realized Santa wasn’t giving it to her right then and that she had to wait till Christmas morning.)

Anyway, grumpy, tired Santa; everyone rushing to get done before Santa’s appointed lunch break time. Here’s our picture, that I got gouged for because I was under time pressure, and they’re no longer free…

Still, a perfect classic, and I love it. Santa’s all like “I hate myself.” And Ivy’s like “This guy’s not ho ho ho’ing like you said he would. And where’s my freaking lion?” And Oliver can’t smile on cue anymore without looking ridiculous. And Seth’s like, “I’m not sure I buy this whole Santa thing anymore. But my mom’s making me do it anyway.” And Ben’s perfect.
And that’s our Santa pic 2014. Boom.


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