This bad day.

I feel like I’m in a depressing rut, just spinning my wheels every day but not getting anywhere. Laundry, housework, sewing work, hospital work, cooking, answering pointless questions from preschoolers, etc., etc. Repeat times a million. I need a fresh start. A clean house. A menu plan. A blank slate. And I feel like it’s never going to happen.

Sometimes it just feels like too much. Like I just can’t do it; I’m drowning. Or like I just don’t WANT to to do it. 

And then I’m going crazy. Feeling like I’m going to snap, then snapping. Raging around, yelling, swearing, fighting, and crying.

And feeling like an absolute failure. Like the worst mom ever. 

Then apologizing to the sweet kids who have taken the brunt of everything. To the three year old that I actually got in a screaming match with, both of us yelling and crying and me knowing just how she feels but doing nothing to help her. 

I hug them and I tell them I’m sorry and they forgive instantly, like children do. Their grace is astounding, really. And I need it, and I’m so thankful for it.

 Edit  

Thank goodness for the gift that is my children, and thank goodness that tomorrow is a new day. 

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8 thoughts on “This bad day.

  1. Laura says:

    You’re the MOST Amazing mommy! Thank you for sharing – it is amazing your insightfulness and reflectiveness. And it makes the rest of us feel NORMAL – so thank you for normalizing motherhood. Thank you. xoxo

  2. Dad says:

    Your kids are the source of your crazyness AND the (secondary) source of grace. You really are a great mom Nikki. Dad

  3. Carla says:

    Thanks for your honesty. It’s refreshing! I appreciate your feelings as I’ve had many of them myself in a daily basis lately.

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